AKA Calvin Kleinfleld
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Smell my arm!
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Actually, he didn’t have a chance. By the time Kramer
came up with his idea, it had already been in the works for a few years – in
real life, that is. Calone’s patent protection ended in 1989, and by 1990 the
first Oceanic scent was on the market.
Some folks might be familiar with the 1992 episode of
Seinfeld –
The Pick – where Kramer’s fragrance epiphany gets
swiped by a Calvin Klein marketing executive.
Kramer originally has the idea for a cologne that makes
you smell like “the beach” in a previous episode –
The Pez
Dispenser – upon returning from a midwinter’s Polar Bear plunge.
He calls it The Beach and pitches it to a CK exec who dismisses Kramer for a
nutjob.
“Do you think people are going to pay eighty dollars to smell
like dead fish and seaweed? That’s why people take showers when they come home
from the beach.”
Next episode, it turns out they stole Kramer’s idea. He
whiffs it on a supermodel. “You smell like the beach. What's the name of that
perfume you're wearing?”
“The Ocean, by Calvin Klein”
That’s what it’s called – The Ocean. In the episode, that
is. In real life however, the scent Kramer is looking for is called Calone (not
a misspelling). It is one of the most important aroma compounds ever
discovered, and represents not only an entire decade of men’s fragrance, but
the advent of the “unisex” perfume market.
Calone is a tradename for a chemical that smells like the
ocean. It was discovered by a pharmaceutical company researching benzodiazepine
derivatives for anti-depression meds. When the researchers took notice of the
chemical’s aromatic quality, they handed it over to a fragrance company to
refine, and to name, and thus we have Calone – its chemical recipe hidden from
the public due to intellectual property rights.*
Calone can be found in nature; it is a secondary
metabolite of seaweed pheromone. However, it exists in the world of fragrance
only as a synthetic compound made in a lab. Calone stands out, in fact, because
it is the first synthetic chemical to be used in its synthetic form before its
natural form (and to this day, nobody is trying to extract seaweed sweat in
lieu of chemical synthesis).
Again, this is not to say that Calone doesn’t exist in
nature, only that the fragrance industry in all its history has never used it
that way. In fact squared, Calone was so new, and so unique, and so
groundbreaking of a discovery, that it was given its own category amongst only
four others in the total of all fragrance families. This, the Oceanic/Ozonic/Marine
class of fragrance aromas, appeared circa 1990, and is known for its use in the
new style of androgynous, “watery” scents of that time. (Calvin Klein’s
Eternity and Davidoff’s Cool Water, both 1988, are prime examples, as is
Giorgio Armani’s Acqua Di Gio 1996. And now, I can’t resist mentioning the
original
Wu-Tang fragrance of 1998 was described as simply
a "Cool Water scent.")
Synthetic aromatic molecules are jackpot for the company
who discovers them, but also for those down-the-line who can take advantage. It
means they can make the same scent for a fraction of the price of the natural
equivalent. In this case, the synthetic discovery had no natural equivalent –
it was an entirely new smell. Heads went Calone-crazy and flooded the market. A
tsunami, if you will. Calone is such a distinct olfactory representation of an
era that its scent can reliably be referred to as “
almost any man's fragrance since 1995 that comes in a blue
bottle.”
And so with that, we should find it ironic (how
appropriately Seinfeldian) that Kramer’s million dollar idea was about to
become the scent of the decade.
Post Script:
I’d like to list some of the terms used to describe
Calone, beginning with what Kramer would have called it:
The Beach
The Ocean
Sea Breeze
Marine-like sea spray
Ozonic (though ozone is odorless)
Fresh
Aquatic
Mossy
Seaweed
Dead Fish (but only Seinfeldian Calvin Klein executives
call it that)
“generic guy smell” (later 1990’s)
“that androgynous smell” (earlier 1990’s)
methylbenzodioxepinone
CAS No 28940-11-6
Watermelon Ketone
(it doesn’t sound right, but Calone is related to a
chemical found in melons)
POST POST SCRIPT:
*Discovered in 1966 by chemists from the pharmaceutical
company Pfizer, who passed on their discovery to the perfumers of Camilli
Albert Laloue in Grasse - here the substance got its name - and yet it should
again take 20 years (1989 ended the patent protection) for calone could begin
its triumphal procession. With New West by Yves Tanguy the fragrance became
famous. [
source translated from German] Anyone who knows where
to find the formal documentation of this, feel free to make contact.
As told by one perfume blogger via a lecture at the
Osmotheque by Yves Tanguy (the perfumer, not the
Surrealist), the first use of Calone was in New West for Aramis 1990, which was
simply Cristalle de Chanel 1974 plus Calone. That’s it.